Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry meow1993 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.

(360): View more from Washington

I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.

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(845): View more from New York

If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?

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(516): View more from New York

You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.

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(757): View more from Virginia

My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.

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