I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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