Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
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So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
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It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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