Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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