Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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