u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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