i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
