I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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