I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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