Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
