franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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