What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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