Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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