Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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