Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize