I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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