like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
