I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
