I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize