I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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