She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
