she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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