I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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