Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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