so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
