my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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