Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
