He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have aggressive nipples.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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