whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
