i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
