Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
