This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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