just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
