Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
