im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
