It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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