It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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