You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize