I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I currently don't understand fingers.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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