There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
