You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
