First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
