Plan B is the new Plan A
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
