I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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