I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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