You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You need a sexual gate keeper
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
