I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Too much gin, very little bucket
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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