Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Please don't give away my fajitas
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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