He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Don't judge me 👊🼠his dick just whispers my name
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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