I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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