hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
