Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
