tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.