5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
time to smoke my breakfast
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?