On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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