had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Do vagina's smell?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize