So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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