New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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