Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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