I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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