Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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