Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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