Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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