You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
she woke up with a sticky ear
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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